i'm feeling prettaye accomplished today. met up with farah and sab respectively. i had a really nice talk with the latter who's much happier. i was truly happy for her cos i haven't seen her so happy in years alr. it made my heart feel lighter cos in a sense i guess i realised i have always been worried for her these years and im glad RJ looks good eh.
an upcoming happening week for me i guess. sch's starting. and there's two upcoming matches, one against queensway and another HCJC. no more disappointments i swear cos there's no more excuses.
the part i hate abt diving is that it looks damn easy but it's not that easy. i always visualise, and actly to me, being able to dive is the highest point in goalkeeping. if you can dive, there's no balls you can't save. i have all the while been only, FALLING. i seriously don't mind the physical pain, but i hate the fact that i can't overcome the mental barrier.

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i'm prettaye set i realised on studying overseas aft my As. just that i needa get sponsorship from a scholarship. and if i fail to do so in the end, i will take up a bank loan, sign a bond, and repay back aft i graduate and get a job.
as im gng on seventeen, i start to realise what i truly want, what i truly wna do, who do i truly wna be with, and what i'm truly passionate abt. i'm losing more and more faith in relationships really. and im starting to have this belief that there's no such thing as a happy family. my mindset is changing, i used to tell aiksiong that because i don't have a perfect family so i wna construct a perfect family when i grow up and be the best mother i can. i'm recently feeling a little disillusioned becos i have been deeply struck by how people put so much faith in god, in something. when i visited jiemin's church, they all had something i din have. but i just couldn pinpoint what's that thing. have I become too cynical?
mr melvin tan was talking to me the other day cos he wanted to train me and then he started talking about he will push me and stuff, before he said again, believe in yourself, and believe in god. i was really taken aback when he said that. perhaps people seek solace in believing and putting so much faith in god, and perhaps i haven't encountered anything powerful enough to make me put so much faith in. like how i dismiss the picture of a happy family.
this used to seem prettaye normal to me is starting to feel alittle abnormal. haha, but i guess it's okay cos it's only a process of self-discovery, and aft all i alr have the best team i can ever have, the best friends i cld ever have, and once had the best class i cld ever have, and prolly the best mum i cld ever have. speaking of nobility, i like the email mr cheong sent the team.